I know that. But you know what ? Side to side is a 50/50 affair as documented in the manuals. So maybe, just maybe there's different ways... just saying.
You posted " boarding from the side only"...
...only...
...only..
...only...
*sigh*
This is a game, we should be honest. "I want this because it fits me and sticks a harpoon up my opponents stern" is unwanted.