PLEASE NERF THE FRENCH NATION!!!

[vazco]

Oh, no, wait... Just kidding

[Lord Vicious]

even more?   how? put 2 stern on each  france ships so we not understand when they are running?

[Rychu Karas]

ouu boy, they already are.... french...

[Tenakha Kan]

Oh, no, wait... Just kidding

 

 

At least Lord Vicious and Pellasgos took the time to write something in their threads...

 

CYRANO:

 

Ah no! young blade! That was a trifle short! 

You might have said at least a hundred things 

By varying the tone. . .like this, suppose,. . . 

Aggressive: 'Sir, if I had such a nose I'd amputate it!' 

Friendly: 'When you sup It must annoy you, dipping in your cup; 

You need a drinking-bowl of special shape!' 

Descriptive: ''Tis a rock!. . .a peak!. . .a cape! --

A cape, forsooth! 'Tis a peninsular!' 

Curious: 'How serves that oblong capsular? 

For scissor-sheath? Or pot to hold your ink?' 

Gracious: 'You love the little birds, I think? 

I see you've managed with a fond research 

To find their tiny claws a roomy perch!' 

Truculent: 'When you smoke your pipe. . .suppose 

That the tobacco-smoke spouts from your nose-- 

Do not the neighbors, as the fumes rise higher, 

Cry terror-struck: "The chimney is afire"?' 

Considerate: 'Take care,. . .your head bowed low 

By such a weight. . .lest head o'er heels you go!' 

Tender: 'Pray get a small umbrella made, 

Lest its bright color in the sun should fade!' 

Pedantic: 'That beast Aristophanes Names Hippocamelelephantoles 

Must have possessed just such a solid lump 

Of flesh and bone, beneath his forehead's bump!' 

Cavalier: 'The last fashion, friend, that hook? 

To hang your hat on? 'Tis a useful crook!' 

Emphatic: 'No wind, O majestic nose, 

Can give THEE cold!--save when the mistral blows!' 

Dramatic: 'When it bleeds, what a Red Sea!' 

Admiring: 'Sign for a perfumery!' 

Lyric: 'Is this a conch?. . .a Triton you?' 

Simple: 'When is the monument on view?' 

Rustic: 'That thing a nose? Marry-come-up! 

'Tis a dwarf pumpkin, or a prize turnip!' 

Military: 'Point against cavalry!' 

Practical: 'Put it in a lottery! 

Assuredly 'twould be the biggest prize!' 

Or. . .parodying Pyramus' sighs. . . 

'Behold the nose that mars the harmony 

Of its master's phiz! blushing its treachery!'

--Such, my dear sir, is what you might have said, 

Had you of wit or letters the least jot: 

But, O most lamentable man!--of wit 

You never had an atom, and of letters 

You have three letters only!--they spell Ass! 

And--had you had the necessary wit, 

To serve me all the pleasantries I quote 

Before this noble audience. . .e'en so, 

You would not have been let to utter one-- 

Nay, not the half or quarter of such jest! 

I take them from myself all in good part, 

But not from any other man that breathes!

 

Cyrano de Bergerac

Act I, Scene iv

Edmond Rostand

Edited September 22, 2016 by Tenakha Kan

[JollyRoger1516]

You don't need nerfing you're crap enough

[oliviervdp]

You don't need nerfing you're crap enough

 I believe that was the entire point of the joke... No need to say it so crude.

Edited September 22, 2016 by oliviervdp

[JollyRoger1516]

 I believe that was the entire point of the joke... No need to say it so crude.

ah well I thought I take the opportunity to take the piss outta ya dont be offended it was a mere jest

[JollyRoger1516]

irony of irony... An Italian making fun of French running... :D

Italians dont really run - they just suck at war and when everything is finally going to hell they switch to the winning side

[Lytse Pier]

Zut Alor, Alle oop! 

[The Spud]

It has come to my attention that several nations have not yet created a "Please nerf [insert nation]" topic, I would strongly suggest you put this on top of your priority list...

[Tenakha Kan]

The OP is Dutch...

[Kloothommel]

[Kloothommel]

[Bougainville]

Being fed a constant stream of dim-witted white-flag-ho-ho-ho splutter from armchair generals since a good thirteen years now -and counting- it's not the offence that gets the French anymore, it's the sheer boredom.

[Captain Jean-Luc Picard]

Being fed a constant stream of dim-witted white-flag-ho-ho-ho splutter from armchair generals since a good thirteen years now -and counting- it's not the offence that gets the French anymore, it's the sheer boredom.

To be fair thought... the french navy flag is white before the revolution and mostly white at its start...

 

 

All the more ironic when, like in this painting, the British surrender to the french white flag ( and to the 'muricans ) ( the french army had a white flag as well during the american revolution )

 

Long live Louis XVII, down with the traitorous revolution !!

 

Ok, ok, j'la ferme et j'dégage...

Edited September 22, 2016 by Captain Jean-Luc Picard

[Kloothommel]

Being fed a constant stream of dim-witted white-flag-ho-ho-ho splutter from armchair generals since a good thirteen years now -and counting- it's not the offence that gets the French anymore, it's the sheer boredom.

C'était les ouvreurs de bouteilles qui me fait rire

Le drapeau blanc n'est pas un gag, je vous assure  

[Bougainville]

Yep I liked the multiple corkscrews as well, once I noticed them. Plus the 90' joke is just on the spot.

Edit@JLP I should have said surrendermonkeyfication instead.

Edited September 22, 2016 by Bougainville

[Lytse Pier]

For those that wanted to see unity in the Dutch Nation I hereby have an important announcement:

 

The Dutch High Council unanimously agrees that we nerf the French Cavalry first!

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capture_of_the_Dutch_fleet_at_Den_Helder

 

[Bougainville]

Let's not jump on our high horses here.

[Captain Jean-Luc Picard]

Yep I liked the multiple corkscrews as well, once I noticed them. Plus the 90' joke is just on the spot.

 

 I was buying a survival knife for a hardcore survival journey back in the days ( it's a knife that is designed to work with wood and has a hollow handle for necessary items ), and the fench seller asked me if it was a knife with a corkscrew. Gotta love the french.

[Guest]

You never know when you have to extract some sap out of a cork oak for sustenance.

[Bougainville]

That reminds me once when I was stopped by a bouncer because I forgot I kept a corkscrew in my pocket...

[vazco]

The Dutch High Council unanimously agrees that we nerf the French Cavalry first!

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capture_of_the_Dutch_fleet_at_Den_Helder

 

Well, they had some help - eg. ice, and frozen ships. In contrast, a cavalry fighting for the independence of Colombia (current Dutch territory in the game) actually forced a Spanish fleet of gunboats to surrender without a fight, just by breaking morale of fleet's crew by charging into the river

This is a warning to Spaniards. If you don't leave Barranquilla, we will use cavalry